Gardein Brings Joy to Vegan Junk Food Lovers

When a PR person first offered me samples of Gardein’s meatless pepperoni pizza pockets with vegan mozz’rella in a marinara sauce, I was skeptical. They sounded like total junk food. Eventually I relented, because the PR person was persistent and charming and adamant about the product’s nutritional value. I became slightly curious.

So two boxes (four pockets in each) of these snacks arrived at my house. I decided heating them in the oven would probably yield better results than microwaving. I placed four pockets on a baking sheet. They’re round little things, and resemble a snack food you might see at 7-11. After cooking for 12 minutes on each side (a bit of a challenge since, as I mentioned, they’re quite round), I served them up on plates.

Meatless pepperoni pizza pockets by Gardein are vegan and kosher.

Meatless pepperoni pizza pockets by Gardein are vegan and kosher.

These little suckers are small but dense.  They consist of dough filled with marinara sauce, vegan mozzarella and bright red pieces of “pepperoni.” As someone who’s more oriented toward whole foods than processed foods, I found them a bit exotic, almost forbidden. They’re surprisingly sweet, from the marinara sauce and the dough. I liked the mozzarella (I’m a sucker for fake cheese) but the pepperoni was kind of bizarre. It’s been a long time since I’ve eaten real pepperoni, so I can’t do a reliable taste comparison. My husband, who’s eaten the real stuff much more recently, said it didn’t taste like pepperoni. Nor did it look that much like it. I would have liked a cheese pizza version better. The pocket tasted pretty good, but not like something a health-conscious person would eat.

Admittedly, I’m a health food nut who is likely to freak out if a food is too oily, processed, is high in sugar, empty calories or refined carbs. So was the impression that these pizza pockets weren’t nutritious an illusion? Or were they health food cunningly disguised as junk? Let’s turn to the nutritional panel on the box for a deeper understanding. Each pocket contains 210 calories, 60 of them from fat.  One pocket contains 20 percent of your recommended daily dose of sodium and 7 percent of recommended protein. Five grams of sugar is lower than I would have guessed from the sweet taste. One gram of dietary fiber is lower than I would expect from something wrapped in dough. Each pocket contains 10 percent of your recommended Vitamin A and 10 percent of iron.

Hmm. Judging on the nutritional panel evidence, I’d say the pepperoni pockets are neither especially healthful nor especially unhealthful. If I was making these, I would use whole grains for more fiber, up the amount of protein and make the sauce and dough less sweet.

However, I don’t think I’m really the target demographic. The box compares the nutritional value of these pockets to a “generic pizza pocket.” Would I ever eat a “generic pizza pocket?” Uh, maybe if I were starving to death on a desert island and a ship spilled a cargo container full of generic pizza pockets.

So who is this product suitable for? If you’re somebody who normally eats generic pizza pockets, this is surely an upgrade. If you’re a vegetarian or vegan who is going mad from 7-11 snack food withdrawals, you’ve found your new treat. These snacks are very portable, so they might be just the thing for vegan truckers with a microwave on hand, or other veg people who must eat on the run. Or if you want to indulge a little – but not too much – you might enjoy these meatless pepperoni pizza pockets.

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